I'm going to start this over again.

But not erase any this time and actually remember to write in it because writing out my feelings really does help.

I saw this quote: "As we grow up,we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down... probably will. You will have your heart brokenprobably more than onceand it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you have never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."

I don't think that could be any more true. And the last line really makes me think...

I'm at a point in my life where I'm just confused about pretty much everything. I am completely 100% happy with my life and couldn't ask for another, but lately I feel like I just can't do anything right. I have to fuck up every good thing I have and it's hard to get them back. All I do is try and in the end it's usually not even worth it, but I still try anyway.

I never knew how much it hurt to have your heart broken too. I'm probably one of the happiest people I know and I'm never sad, ever... but right now I'm really sad and I hate it. I don't think that I've been this sad since about three years ago. That's a long time. I just wish that people could see the good in me and that I'm not a bad person. I especially want one person to know that but........ Sometimes I wish people could be me for a day, then they'd know how much I go through and at least give me a break sometimes. And I'm telling you, if you could read my mind you'd probably be in tears. I'm not depressed. I'm the farthest thing from it. Even though I'm sad, I don't let it show. I try not to let my sadness ruin my life and I try my best to see the good in every bad situation, which helps a lot.