"Change your thoughts and you change your world."

Things feel weird lately. I'm starting to lose a few people that are very close to me, but I'm also gaining others as well. People change and it sucks. I've changed myself and I think that might be part of the problem. No one can stay the same forever, although I wish it were that way. I wish we could love the same things forever and have the same good feelings forever, but of course it's not like that. You eventually move on from all the things you used to love and start to love better things or start to love worse things, who knows really. I don't have the same relationship as I had with certain people before and it seems like things are awkward now between us and I really can't seem to figure out why. It just hurts when all the sudden, someone close in your life slowly stops talking to you and they never give you an explanation of why.

I was thinking the other day... about my life in the middle of summer. God I really miss those days. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again 'cause I had some of the funnest times in my life back then. Everything was perfect then. My life was perfect. There were no problems between myself and others, no problems with anything. I miss all the things I used to love. I miss all the people I used to hangout with. I miss not worrying about anything. I miss my parents having complete trust in me. I miss when people were nice. I miss the bands I used to listen to. I miss going to every show that came around and then traveling to see it again in another state. I just miss how everything used to be. You don't even know. I screwed a lot of things up over these past couple months and it has affected everything in my life. I'm never careful with the decisions I make and maybe now I should be because I'm not really sure if i like what has come of my life and who I've become because of it. I've lost myself for a while and I never realized it till now. I never realized I've been a bad friend to people at times. I never realized how much I've hurt others. I've never realized how much I've hurt myself. I've never realized anything till now and I hope that I can fix things and not just for others, but for myself mostly.